now i know y i can write so long blogs

haha now that i'm more busy i cannot really write long blogs...so now i know that y liwei they all's blog entry so short..y mine so long..haha..coz they're too busy to update..like now...i'm so so busy just finished my camp and now doing my presentation on the whole CSP project which is due next tuesday!! so rush man!!

Anyway very busy, next few weeks all got presentation and stuff..wa cham ah...holiday faster come....

I'm feeling better

Hey..my Individual presentation was very very bad but i really thank God its over. Hock Kee consoled me a little..Actually i was not used to the way he lead pple and i told Ms Tan if he do that to me again face to face i'll speak my mind.. but these days after we plan to sponser Zhou Jie.. We were encouraging each other and sharing the lessons we learnt through our walk with God.. meanwhile Jason is entertaining Ai Ping..newcomer in church..Ms Tan's Track n field student.. Haven't really talked to her.. don't wana be like Hui Yun like that so despo to talk to new comers..haha ok la i very bad..i'm still learning how to deal with this kinda pple..haiz..life is full of up and down..but if its for God its more than worthy..coz i know God is always with me with i'm suffing.. =)

Me n Ms Tan are ok liao..hehe..today she's coming down for coaching TP again..i don't know wana go down or not...
firstly is what happened last week and
Secondly i got meeting anyway..but i think the meeting should end before they finish and
Lastly i haven't do my FA homework..but i do liao i also don't know how to hand in coz i'm not coming to school till next monday..haiz..i also don't know..

see how later
but i'm feeling better and i'm trying to not reply on my emotions..bcoz its very unhealthy...haiz..
we're still learning..hehe
Jiayou everybody for your exams!!
Jiayou for those who's deadlines are coming!! (like me)
and EnJOY THOSE WHO ARE HAVING HOLIDAYS!!
hehehe

long time no blog

wao lao...now whats wrong with my bears.......
irritating le..now the chatter box is back to normal my bears all run away from home...bears..come back...i need you

have been super busy with my midterm test
my fiancial accounting so bad only got
51.5/100
22nd percentile
cham...

my stats still ok
45/100
don know what percentile but its below the 50th percentile..sian...

haiz..then i'm in the valley once again...
i knew i was distracted but i couldn't help it..
then i became too busy and i did not read the bible and stuff..
i told God i can't then i got a sign about "God will fins time for you to do His will" then ok la i read the bible but i didn't pray a lot on my own
I can't help it and i try ways and mean to have desire for God but....
anyway i fell...
many things were happening around me, my friends, my family, the circle and place i was in a person's heart was shaken (at least i felt that)..
i questioned my faith..i say i can't feel God..
had a lot of sessions with Ms Tan. She say when we try to get closer to God, the more difficult it will get because of the devil and the spiritual warfare but just remember His blessings that he poured out to you, count your blessings instead of your trails and tribulations...and remember that God is with u..when you need care and love he is always there..like even our earthly parents want to give us good gifts what more about our heavenly father?

but it didn't help much..i can say now that i'm still very emotional n i claim that i don't know the feeling of getting touched by God..i'm not if i did..but i would really wana know the feeling lo..

last sunday the pastor's brother came to preach, he preached about desire and thirst..he said this thing that really struck me..if you haven't been crying for God..haven't been touched for a long time, reflect on your hunger and thirst for God..it might be because of your faith that you are not being touched by God..
my eyes were opened..but i still don't know how about doing it..

then a few days later Ms Tan just briefly mentioned about reading the bible and praying..so i'll do my part and leave the rest to God..

then i felt that because of my fall, i disappointed Ms Tan..and i felt that our relationship (NOT BGR) was getting more and more far away...then came Ai Ping..i don't know..the circle of friends because of a new comer, the old ones get neglected..that was what i felt la..i mean its human nature la..come on..i don't blame any one..i just hope that i don't feel left out..

then ystday they came to train at SMU..i went down after my presentation (which went quite well) ai yo..got to do my homework..brb

ok i'm back..now is during financial accounting lesson..got presentation..sian..haha
ok anyway..i had a quarrel with Ms Tan last nite..i didn't have a quarrel for a long long time..but i was quite angry but i don't want our relationship to end up like me and peiwei's relationship..

But as she was explaining, i can't forgive..i don't know y then i was forced to say out my reasons y i was angry and walked away without telling her or asking for any reasons..haiz..anyway she like dun know call me how many times..i offed my phone bcoz i didn't want to answer her questions..aiyo have to go church for BS liao...
leading worship later..wish me luck..bye bye

busy busy busy

wao..want to know my past week? let me tell you.

Monday, Financial Accounting (FA) meeting n keyboard lesson.
Tuesday, whole day class n LTB meeting n FA homework
Wednesday, Study Bible Studies test n bible studies test
Thursday, Study for FA mid term exam
Friday, Car wash fund raising for LTB project
Saturday, FA mid term exam n LTB meeting n nite bike till sunday morning
Sunday, after nite nike, church service, Preaching class, Go hospital see church fren

wao...shiok man
i was praying that i will be attentive during church coz after the whole night of night bike i might not be survive church..
and i did!! my nite bike was from 1030pm to 7am
From SMU to
clementi -- the hills was killing
Nus -- after the hills got lost, extra meters cycled
West Coast Park -- play game,my group gave up..too tired
Esplanade -- went crazy, too tired till crazy, sang david tao song all around while playing game
Mustafa -- dead..but was in front, frenz encouraged me to go on
Paya lebar -- numb..am i cycling? i can't feel my limbs, but i'm still panting..(got lost twice here)
East Coast Park -- jia you jia you!! reaching! reaching!! ... y still haven't reach... am i there yet? no? hiaz...

Finally reached ECP after Travel">traveling north, west then east over 50KM!!!!!
dead...
then went to eat MAC breakfast, fell asleep when muffin was entering my mouth..hahahaha..its s very funny position to fall aslp but the sleeping feeling was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha..then slpt on the bus home, then reach home sleeo around 1.5 hrs then go church, was late..haha but lucky service started late too..
then i was normal and attentive, lucky preaching was short, did not fall asleep AT ALL!!! then eat then preaching class..DID NOT FALL ASLP TOO!!!
then went to see a church fren Jack at NUH with Ms Tan, Hock kee, Jason and Louis..
till around 9 pm..I DID NOT SLEEP AT ALL LE!!!
I'm so PROUND OF MYSELF!!! WAHAHHAHA

THANK THE GREAT GOOD LORD!! remember my little prayer? He remembered and gave me all the strength i need!!!!!

i really cannot deny that there is no God in this world and this God is not Jesus! remembering my day when i worship my ancesters and idois, What a different feeling!! its a RELATIONSHIP with God. If others are real, y can't they satisfy my spirit? y do i not feel joyous like now? Y do i have super natural strength? and most importantly, Y do I LOVE? not in BGR case..i'm not that swallow..LOVE as in LOVing everybody, bcoz I know my God LOVES all, So i should do so too..and He has helped me alot.. to LOVE EVEYRYBODY as well As HIM WHO LOVES US.
He met me off track, and walk the difficult path with me back on track. Giving me strength, love and Purpose.

Thank you Lord, Love YOU!
Teach me, bend me as long as it is according to Your will.