Haha.. In a crappy mood now..
Think last time i used to be more popular and secure.. think as i grow older, I began to have more insecurities.. maybe coz of the past hurts i begin to find it hard to trust. But i realized that the more i dun trust and love others, the worse i'll become. hehe.. so anyway, just trying my best to love and trust and commit to God my weakness to work it out with him.
Today went to eat with Hai Han, a ex outramian and played with his not very fun iphone, coz there's no games inside.. but his pictures are quite nice la.. haha.. then crap here and there but was really tired from the medication. *hin ah..*
Then wanted to go home and rest but decided to go COMEX.. but you know what, so many pple till i can't even get into the conference hall!! my goodness.. i didn't know singapore got so many pple until
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Desert Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLOGTYE6T2U&NR=1
Desert Song by Hillsong
Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides
Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
Chorus:
And I will bring praiseI will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
\And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
Bridge:
All of my lifeIn every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've received I will sow
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
New Blog Skin! - CHANGE!
Haha..
I love to read people's blogs, maybe coz i'm very KPO but today when i went to revisit my previous blog, i realized i could blog quite well too! haha! Impressed with myself..
Anyway, i love my new blog skin! its organized in a arty farty manner, with all my fav decor one could get at MADE WITH LOVE plaza singapura. Always wanted and hope to make something like that but i guess, this blog is the best i've ever seen! haha
I was so busy with work since i came back from Sydney. Today i could blog coz of my MC? haha.. had what they call a common flu which left me strength less in bed this morning and when it was time to go to the clinic, i still couldn't feel my legs.. :(
Anyway, feeling much better now, from all the love that was showered over me by some of the people who has always been support and loving me! Thanks to them so much.
Was struggling with my insecurity problem again today when i was in bed. Thoughts just crash through my mind one by one, thoughts by thoughts. It left me so drained and helpless on my bed. Until i decided to sort it out with God rather than man.
I really have to thank God for the revelations He has shown through his word.
First i flipped to the people who struggle like me - Cain. God revealed.
"If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desires is for you, but you should rule over it." Gen 4:7
I read this verse many times, but it has not revealed to me like this time it revealed to me.
I was so jealous, till i wasn't making sense and continues to put down the people i care for in my heart. They did not do anything wrong against me, but yet my heart couldn't but blame them and hate them. I seek for acceptance the wrong way, the wrong kind. Only God could fill me and make me understand.
Today, after i went to the doctor which i thank God for the compromise of time from mt to sent me there coz i couldn't make my way there. i'm really thankful for the timely help and ride.
Today, after a reflective session, I really want to listen and obey. I believe and trust that all that was said is good for my soul and directs me back to God. God has placed spiritual authority above us for a good reason and many times it is health for our bones too.
i hurt others too many times. I have to change this time no matter what it takes.
1. Honor my words. Be responsible to what i say
2. Do not return evil for evil, have compassion, love, trust, humilty.
I say too many sorry's but no actions and no change. I have to change!
Another thing i know about change is that i got to commit to God my weaknesses. Like what i did today, my problem i have to solve it with God. Ask God to take it away or provide strength to overcome it. "for my strength is made perfect in weakness."
I guess God got to take away my pride first before he can began the work in me.
I realized something too. Love is a decision, not a emotion. To love and accept all weakness of people takes more than an emotions or sheer will power. It takes our decision for better or for worse, I will walk with you. Weather i'm angry or tired or frustrated, or fearful. I will walk with you. How? - is a good question to ask. Being humble, compassionate, trust when everything else, even the person you want to love tells you not to. It may not be direct everytime, but it comes in different forms and way. But are you willing to let this love decision shape you attitude towards others? Am i willing to die to myself and surrender this weakness to God ? Can i put my pride down for the impossible to happen? it has got to be YES! because of LOVE. That was what Jesus did at the cross. Can i do it? YES I CAN! Coz Jesus has conquered the grave! Nothing is impossible with God, He just needs our yes and amen! Am I on God's side, or my side? Where will my side lead me to? or worse, where will my side bring my loved one too? how far will i go, how far will i change for my loved one?
Lord, forgive me as i forgive others. Thank you for your continuous love and grace even though i have hurt you so many times. Help me be teachable and humble. To be patient and trust in your plans. Lord, thank you for all the miracles you have done in my life. Praise be yours, that you are faithful and mighty to save. Thank you Lord. Hallelujah!
I love to read people's blogs, maybe coz i'm very KPO but today when i went to revisit my previous blog, i realized i could blog quite well too! haha! Impressed with myself..
Anyway, i love my new blog skin! its organized in a arty farty manner, with all my fav decor one could get at MADE WITH LOVE plaza singapura. Always wanted and hope to make something like that but i guess, this blog is the best i've ever seen! haha
I was so busy with work since i came back from Sydney. Today i could blog coz of my MC? haha.. had what they call a common flu which left me strength less in bed this morning and when it was time to go to the clinic, i still couldn't feel my legs.. :(
Anyway, feeling much better now, from all the love that was showered over me by some of the people who has always been support and loving me! Thanks to them so much.
Was struggling with my insecurity problem again today when i was in bed. Thoughts just crash through my mind one by one, thoughts by thoughts. It left me so drained and helpless on my bed. Until i decided to sort it out with God rather than man.
I really have to thank God for the revelations He has shown through his word.
First i flipped to the people who struggle like me - Cain. God revealed.
"If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desires is for you, but you should rule over it." Gen 4:7
I read this verse many times, but it has not revealed to me like this time it revealed to me.
I was so jealous, till i wasn't making sense and continues to put down the people i care for in my heart. They did not do anything wrong against me, but yet my heart couldn't but blame them and hate them. I seek for acceptance the wrong way, the wrong kind. Only God could fill me and make me understand.
Today, after i went to the doctor which i thank God for the compromise of time from mt to sent me there coz i couldn't make my way there. i'm really thankful for the timely help and ride.
Today, after a reflective session, I really want to listen and obey. I believe and trust that all that was said is good for my soul and directs me back to God. God has placed spiritual authority above us for a good reason and many times it is health for our bones too.
i hurt others too many times. I have to change this time no matter what it takes.
1. Honor my words. Be responsible to what i say
2. Do not return evil for evil, have compassion, love, trust, humilty.
I say too many sorry's but no actions and no change. I have to change!
Another thing i know about change is that i got to commit to God my weaknesses. Like what i did today, my problem i have to solve it with God. Ask God to take it away or provide strength to overcome it. "for my strength is made perfect in weakness."
I guess God got to take away my pride first before he can began the work in me.
I realized something too. Love is a decision, not a emotion. To love and accept all weakness of people takes more than an emotions or sheer will power. It takes our decision for better or for worse, I will walk with you. Weather i'm angry or tired or frustrated, or fearful. I will walk with you. How? - is a good question to ask. Being humble, compassionate, trust when everything else, even the person you want to love tells you not to. It may not be direct everytime, but it comes in different forms and way. But are you willing to let this love decision shape you attitude towards others? Am i willing to die to myself and surrender this weakness to God ? Can i put my pride down for the impossible to happen? it has got to be YES! because of LOVE. That was what Jesus did at the cross. Can i do it? YES I CAN! Coz Jesus has conquered the grave! Nothing is impossible with God, He just needs our yes and amen! Am I on God's side, or my side? Where will my side lead me to? or worse, where will my side bring my loved one too? how far will i go, how far will i change for my loved one?
Lord, forgive me as i forgive others. Thank you for your continuous love and grace even though i have hurt you so many times. Help me be teachable and humble. To be patient and trust in your plans. Lord, thank you for all the miracles you have done in my life. Praise be yours, that you are faithful and mighty to save. Thank you Lord. Hallelujah!
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